Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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