is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
