the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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