Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
