Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm like, not good at living.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
