it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
