a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
