clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize