I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
