can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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