And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
