Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
