i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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