i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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