He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
