My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize