Are we in a gay sports bar?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
