Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
