How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize