He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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