I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
