What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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