You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize