i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
