We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Randomize
