So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
