Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
