I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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