do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize