I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
