Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
