i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
