apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
