Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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