Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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