I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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