it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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