oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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