i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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