is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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