yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
