lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
