She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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