like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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