I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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