The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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