He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
