Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
