we have officially lost it.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
