the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
