i was rollin on her like bob the builder
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
