It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize