drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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