We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
