We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
