Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
