After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize