After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
