do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
