Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
