I puked a lego.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
