so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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