is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize