I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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