haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
