i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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