he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
