Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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