don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
