Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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