Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
