Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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