Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
